Parents Confuse Me

In all fairness and honesty, I am blogging this post as a child, not as a parent. I have no children and don’t really want them. Part of the reason for this is because I am afraid of doing something like what I am about to tell you. Maybe worse if I were not careful. I would also like to state that I know a lot of stories about this woman. I did not get all of this from the horses mouth, so to speak.  I did however get most of it from her.

My mom has a friend that grew up very, very spoiled. I have heard some stories of the way she lived and damn. It sounds as though she spent most of her life making her parents happy.  However, in her parents eyes, she messed all that up by falling in love with the man she fell for.

(The part of the story that got me thinking starts here.) At one point in her life her and her husband were going through a very hard time. They had been hurt by someone they loved and trusted. Because of this the marriage began to unravel. Needing time to think away from her husband, she grabbed their twins and went to stay with her parents. From the sounds of it her parents did a lot for her while she was there. My guess is that they were bribing her without calling it that. They even bought her a car. A new Prius. But she couldn’t go back to her husband if she wanted to keep the car.

(This is where I get truly confused.) The man she is married to doesn’t have a whole lot of money.  They have been sharing one car and it’s been very hard for them to get by.  Having that car would have helped them all. The husband, the woman, and the twins.

Why, if you love your child and your grandchildren would you take away something you already paid for and that would help so much. I can’t figure out how that fits together. It seems heartless and counter productive to me. I might understand if the husband is a mean and bad man. He’s not, hes just isn’t what they want for her. (I have met the man and I am here to tell you he is a very sweet guy and a loving husband.)

If I had been the daughter, their actions would have either put a wedge between us and or if one was already there, made it bigger. I wouldn’t feel like I could go back to them when in need. I wouldn’t talk to them any longer about my life with him and sure would not want to share any of my struggles in life with them.  I wouldn’t want them to know how right they were after it all or how much I had failed. Not just failed them but failed myself and my children.

I have had a very mild version of this happen to me. After getting my first boyfriend I had a rather long make out session with him. It was so bad the I had stubble burn around my mouth the next morning. My mother flipped her lid and started saying she was going to kick me out. That I was going to be pregnant in a matter of weeks. I was 20 years old at this point and this was my first boyfriend. I felt that under the circumstances the kissing was understandable.  She agrees now, but it’s been a few years and she has had time to adjust.

The other part of this that made me go….”really mom?” was that at that time I lived with her and he came to our house. She was on Social Security Benefits and pretty much never left the house. I didn’t have a drivers license. It was going to pretty hard to make sex happen without her knowing about it.

Just so you know we did manage to sort the whole thing out and I was never kicked out. She is my mother and I do understand her side of it after talking to her.

Got a moment where you just couldn’t understand a parents actions? I would love to hear about it. Post it in the comments or email me.



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